Great Food and Music Fest Part 1

After a somewhat harried trip up the 5, I finally found my hotel behind an alley after driving around for what seemed like forever. It was kind of deserted, but I was shown to my room by a chatty bellhop. He said, "You're here for the Food festival? You know Anthony Bourdain stayed here when he was filming and watched porn all night long. You should have seen his bill!" Hmmm. I must admit the rooms are stimulating, with their funky chairs and profusion of velour.



The next morning I was all bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for some serious grub. Saturday promised to be a gorgeous day of music, cooking demos, live music and feasting. Unfortunately, the best laid plans...There was a line. The line stretched for blocks and blocks and blocks. Seriously, the line was like a mile long. I pulled the press privilege and went in the side. I don't get paid, there has to be a little perk now and then. I think I would have turned around and driven all the way back to LA if I had to stand in that line.



The first restaurant I hit was South Side BBQ but the payment system was all wacked. You got a bracelet onto which you charged money. Vendors swiped the bracelet and it deducted the money. But my bracelet wouldn't work. I went up to the front and it was a madhouse. None of the bracelets worked. Volunteers feverishly messed with electronic card readers as the crowd grew more and more agitated. I returned to to apologize, and they just gave me the BBQ (LOVE you, South Side !!!)



There wasn't much to do about food until they figured out the bracelet problem (they eventually dumped the idea altogether). They had 2 stages - a small stage for food demos, and another for a concert, a burger cookoff and "big name" food demos.

Ed Levine, in a kind of amusing pose.



Anne Burrell



The lines were crazy



These nice girls were waiting near the front of the line



And they were nice enough to get me a sandwich and wings. I know, I'm a terrible, terrible person. But you would have done the same. God, that sandwich was so good, even if obtained by evil means. These wings were amazing.



People loooove Guy Fieri and he really brought some energy to the event. He was playful with the audience, pretending to squirt kids and really interacting with them.





They seriously love him



They want to MARRY him

Harris Farms

Last summer I decided to drive up to Mountain View, just outside of San Jose, by myself to attend the Great American Food and Music Fest. Curated by Ed Levine, founder of Serious Eats, the festival was serving up food from famous restaurants that don't normally travel outside of their neighborhoods. We're talking Katz's Deli Pastrami Sandwiches, Anchor Bar Chicken Wings, Tony Luke's Roast Pork sandwiches, and Junior's Cheesecake.

I hate driving the 5, but hey, it was for Katz's. After miles of nothingness, I started to hear a terrible noise. I pulled into a gas station and they said they didn't have tires, but there was a place at the next exit. The next exit was five miles away! That was a scary 5 miles.



Luckily there was an open mechanic who was able to put on a new tire. He said that stretch of the 5 eats up tires so he keeps a lot in stock. Coincidentally, we were also right across the street from Harris Farms, my scheduled stop. I should have known by the smell of manure wafting over the 5.

Harris Farms has been in Fresno County since 1937. Since its founding in Fresno. It is one of the largest family owned farms in the nation. They are best known for their quality beef. The family also raises thoroughbred horses and opened The Harris Ranch Inn and Restaurant in 1977.



There are different levels of dining rooms, which is fantastic. There is a cafe style area for big loud families, a quiet elegant steakhouse, and an informal but adults-only bar. I chose to eat in the bar. It was nice to eat on the road without screaming, cranky children. Not that I am a wicked child-hater. I am just cranky enough as it is. The filet I ordered came with soup or salad. I tried the clam chowder. It was full of butter and cream, not very clam-y.



This filet was as tender and delicious as it looks. It could not have been more rare if I had run outside, wrestled a cow to the ground and bitten a hunk out of its leg. The proximity of cattle did add a certain element of that SNL sketch "you stun em, we cook 'em" The rest of the meal was your standard middle-America restaurant fare.



The Harris Farms compound also has a meat market, a huge bakery, and lots of snacks for the road. This pie did not look like it would travel well.



So I got one of these instead.

Recipe Cards on Parade: Crusty Salmon Shortcakes

One of the advantages of real flea markets over EBay is the ability to dig through piles of freaky stuff and come up with buried treasure. One of my favorite finds are collections of old recipe cards.

There was once a time when food photography was somehow limited, perhaps by the printing technique, or the tinting process, or maybe it was just the aesthetic of the time. The food portrayed more often than not showed up in unappetizing shades of orange and pink.

I love those pictures. The less appetizing the pictures, and the more cheesy the names, the more highly they are prized.

This 1971 collection of recipe cards from Betty Crocker is one of the things I would grab if my house were on fire. They sure don't make them like that anymore.

Just look at that delicious crusty salmon, mmmm. When was crusty ever a good adjective for salmon? And look at that shade of pink. You just can't achieve that level of inedibility in color these days. And it's under the category of Impromptu Party Fare. There's nothing I enjoy serving my guests more than canned salmon and cream of mushroom soup over Bisquick biscuits. And who doesn't love raw broccoli? And olives? This one is sure to please any partygoer.

The Monster Dog vs. the Colossal Burger

Papoo's Hot Dog Show is often overshadowed by the popular and iconic Bob's Big Boy across the street in Toluca Lake. And to be honest, well, Hot Dog Show is kind of weird. Decorated like an old-fashioned ice cream parlour and populated with bar flies, the restaurant has a strange air of desperation. The servers are friendly, but somehow you get the feeling that everyone has kind of given up.

In contrast to the general weirdness, the food at The Hot Dog Show is amazing. As old-school chili sizes and onion rings go, this is the place. It helps if you think of it as a bar that happens to sell food as opposed to a restaurant that happens to sell beer.

One thing they love here is extreme food with extreme names. So we decided to pit the hyperbolic Monster Dog against the Colossal Burger. As the names would suggest, they are both gigantic. The burger is topped with delicious pastrami that has been cooked on the grill. The monster dog is split and grilled, and bursting with fat. Topped with a delicious truck stop-style chili, it is a force to be reckoned with.

The contest was neck and neck until we stripped away all of the bells and whistles and judged the two solely on the meat. The patty, although moist, is pressed flat and could not be described as juicy. The hot dog on the other hand, bursts with fat and flavor. So in the end, the Monster Dog emerges victorious. Now pour me another beer and let's try to ignore the drunk guy babbling about politics at the end of the ice cream counter.

OK, remember when Homer Simpson was the voice of Poochie the Dog on the Itchy and Scratchy Show? This is the exact character. Coincidence?



All dogs go to heaven ...but how is he holding the harp without any arms?



Who doesn't want a barbecue beef-ham fountain? I had one at my wedding

Ceci n'est pas une nacho

I don't often patronize chains, but occasionally co-workers talk me into it. "It's El Torito Grill, not El Torito." The place appeared to be a Wolfgang Puck-inspired El Torito with a long bar and hard liquor. OK, fine. I could go for some nachos anyways.

I got up to answer my cell phone and when I returned, my friend had a strange look on his face and said, "They don't have nachos." So I looked at the menu and I saw "The Mexican Platter"

Chicken and shrimp taquitos, steak nachos, cheese quesadilla, chipotle barbecue ribs, tomatillo-avocado sauce and red pepper dip. 12.99

I called the server over.

"Aren't these nachos on this platter?"

"No."

"It says Steak Nachos"

"yes, but they aren't nachos"

"how are they not nachos?

"They are not made with tortilla chips. They are made with tortillas"

"You mean you cut a tortilla up and deep fry it?"

"Yes"

"OK. That's how you make a tortilla chip"

"No. It is not a tortilla chip"

"That's OK. Can you just bring me that? On whatever it is?"

"Well, it is not like what you think of as nachos. Each chip has the individual beans and cheese and steak on it."

"OK, could you bring me the menu item that is beans and cheese and steak individually placed on deep fried tortilla pieces?"

"Certainly madame. More iced tea?"

Mariachi Night

I spend so much time as an observer, taking pictures and documenting events of other people's communities, sometimes it is nice to get a reminder that I am part of a community too.



For my mom's birthday the family got together for the local church's Mariachi Night. The church I grew up in, where I went to school. The steps I sat on when I had detention. For 20 bucks you got a taco plate, a few drink tickets and lots of family fun.



I like watching them make the carne asada





And then I like eating it.





Later we realized you could get additional tacos and beers for a dollar each and that made it a much better deal. I noticed they hadn't punched my nephew's ticket, and I said, "Hey, you could get another plate." He turned it over and showed me the reverse side





Then there was the entertainment. Ballet Folkloriko was a lot of stomping and big colorful butterfly skirts when I was younger, but I am seeing more and more of these simple flirty dances lately



It's too dark to see the lasso, but at least you can hear the mariachis



The mechanical bull was a popular attraction for the kids. Why is it so funny to see a little kid fall down? We should all be ashamed of ourselves.



But the important thing is that my mom had a good time.

Jazz at Jitlada for Gina

Everybody loves Jazz, proprietress of one of the best Thai restaurants in Los Angeles. This video shows her endless charm. Here she discusses the proper foods for new mothers while Sinosoul figures out how to program her I-Phone to Twitter, hence the seemingly odd exclamation of "OK, I know how to follow people now" at the end.